Tomorrow (well I guess it'd be today because it's past midnight) I'm going to my Dad's for my team softball party, which I'm excited about. I get to see my dad and stepmom for the first time in about two weeks. I can't wait. I get to give them the presents I bought them in Mexico and I can't wait :D And everything is just dandy, right? Eh....not exactly.
This weekend I am with my mom, but thankfully she's letting me go over to my dad's for the party. The dilemma? Transportation. My parents argue over who should pick up and drop off on these special circumstances. It's never simple. Apparently I made the mistake in assuming that my mom was going to drop me off.
Tonight I called my dad to ask him if it was okay if I stayed overnight because the party usually went past midnight. After I got off the phone I told my mom all the details of the party and she told me when she would pick me up and she asked me "What time is your dad picking you up tomorrow morning?"
"Um, I thought you were taking me?" I asked her. My mom shook her head. As you can imagine, this is very frustrating for me. My parents always fight about "Well I normally do all the driving so they should pick you up/drop you off not me."
"No...I said I would pick you up. You're dad can come get you."
"But mom, Dad has to prepare for the party and stuff....."
"So?" Of course, she doesn't care about that. It doesn't affect her, but it affects everyone going to the party.
"Mom, he can't. He has to get ready for the party." I wasn't liking where this conversation was going. I was beginning to think that my mom wasn't going to let me go if my dad didn't come pick me up. After she had already told me I could go. And the party IS for my softball team, it was also the only day possible before school starts.
"Well, I'll take you, but only for you. Not for your Dad." Um....where did that come from? Not for your dad? It was never for my dad!
"Yeah mom, that's how it should be. You do this for me!"
It's very aggravating that she would say that. She let's her dislike for my dad affect me and my brother. If she would have said that she wasn't going to take me, things would have been a lot worse.
It's not that big of a deal I guess, it just gets annoying when your parents fight over who's going to pick you up and drop you off. I can't wait until I don't need them to go places anymore!
That's it for now,
Jay~Jay
Friday, July 18, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Choosing
Another post. Well this is because it happened after I posted the other post.
We actually returned home from our trip to Mexico early. We were supposed to return on the 18th, this Friday, but instead we returned the 15th, today. Well of course, my brother and I had to call our dad and tell him that we made it home safely. Now, here is what i was afraid of:
My dad knows that we are back at home on a Tuesday. We are home before his normal days that he would have us (Wednesday and Thursday). Why does this make me afraid? Because my dad is going to ask me and my brother if we are coming over on Wednesday and Thursday when originally we were not going to be with him (obviously because we would not have been home).
I hate that so much. I hate having to choose whether or not to go to one house or stay at the other. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or upset anyone by doing so. I usually do have a preference of where I'd like to stay, and it normally isn't the same house ever time, but I still hate having to choose. Like today when my dad was asking me this question, he has to tack on the comment that will make me feel guilty if I choose to stay at my mom's. He says "I would think you would because it's my normal day, but it's up to you."
Well, I wanted to stay at my mom's. I was tired after the long car ride, I just wanted to unpack and relax and recuperate from the long journey without having to worry about having to gather up my stuff to go over to my dad's for two days just to return back to my mom's. To me, it wasn't worth the hassle.
My brother was of the same opinion. Now, we have to inform our dad of our decision. Shouldn't a red flag go up alarming you that something isn't right when your kids fight over who has to tell one of their parents that they would rather stay with their other parent? This is what happened with me and my brother, and my mom was standing right there watching us and she thought it was funny! How is that funny? I see no humor in making your kids have to choose between one parent and the other.
How do you choose? If you're like me and you love both of your parents and you don't want to hurt their feelings, how do you choose? It's hard, extremely hard. If I had to choose between my parents to live with one full time, I could never do it.
As a teenager, I know I will have to make many decisions. Some will be small, some will be big, life-changing decisions. Which classes I plan on taking next year?, what activities do I want to participate in ?, what am I going to wear to Homecoming? those decisions are fairly simple. More critical decisions can include when I'm offered a cigarette, what choice will I make? When I'm offered drugs, what choice will I make? Is abstinence important to me? All of these decisions are life-altering. The outcome could be good the outcome could be bad, depending on the decision that is made. These are just a few, there are many many more. So, on top of all that, should we have to choose between our parents? No, we shouldn't have to.
Well, that's all I have for now,
Jay~Jay
We actually returned home from our trip to Mexico early. We were supposed to return on the 18th, this Friday, but instead we returned the 15th, today. Well of course, my brother and I had to call our dad and tell him that we made it home safely. Now, here is what i was afraid of:
My dad knows that we are back at home on a Tuesday. We are home before his normal days that he would have us (Wednesday and Thursday). Why does this make me afraid? Because my dad is going to ask me and my brother if we are coming over on Wednesday and Thursday when originally we were not going to be with him (obviously because we would not have been home).
I hate that so much. I hate having to choose whether or not to go to one house or stay at the other. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or upset anyone by doing so. I usually do have a preference of where I'd like to stay, and it normally isn't the same house ever time, but I still hate having to choose. Like today when my dad was asking me this question, he has to tack on the comment that will make me feel guilty if I choose to stay at my mom's. He says "I would think you would because it's my normal day, but it's up to you."
Well, I wanted to stay at my mom's. I was tired after the long car ride, I just wanted to unpack and relax and recuperate from the long journey without having to worry about having to gather up my stuff to go over to my dad's for two days just to return back to my mom's. To me, it wasn't worth the hassle.
My brother was of the same opinion. Now, we have to inform our dad of our decision. Shouldn't a red flag go up alarming you that something isn't right when your kids fight over who has to tell one of their parents that they would rather stay with their other parent? This is what happened with me and my brother, and my mom was standing right there watching us and she thought it was funny! How is that funny? I see no humor in making your kids have to choose between one parent and the other.
How do you choose? If you're like me and you love both of your parents and you don't want to hurt their feelings, how do you choose? It's hard, extremely hard. If I had to choose between my parents to live with one full time, I could never do it.
As a teenager, I know I will have to make many decisions. Some will be small, some will be big, life-changing decisions. Which classes I plan on taking next year?, what activities do I want to participate in ?, what am I going to wear to Homecoming? those decisions are fairly simple. More critical decisions can include when I'm offered a cigarette, what choice will I make? When I'm offered drugs, what choice will I make? Is abstinence important to me? All of these decisions are life-altering. The outcome could be good the outcome could be bad, depending on the decision that is made. These are just a few, there are many many more. So, on top of all that, should we have to choose between our parents? No, we shouldn't have to.
Well, that's all I have for now,
Jay~Jay
Hm...
Okay, I totally meant to update this awhile ago, but my mom walked in and of course I was writing about conflicts going on between her and my dad. So, I left it.
OH! And then, on my email I get a notification of a comment and it says "How old are you?" or whatever, and I pretty much ignore it. Well my mom has to have my password to my email for "Internet Safety", or an invasion of privacy really if you ask me. Well I was checking my email and I noticed that that email notification had been forwarded. Not by me, I can tell you that. It was forwarded to my mom! By who? My mom!
So after that I decided, "Hm, maybe I should wait a little bit to post again....because I don't want my mom to delete it or anything...."
So yeah. Parents can be very overbearing sometimes. I know my mom only does this stuff because she loves me and cares about me, but honestly, it would be nice if she put a little bit of trust in me.
I've been in Mexico for the past week and a half. In fact I just got back at about 4 am. It is now 6:13 am, and I'm not tired. So, as far as things with my parents go, there isn't much. I really miss my dad and I can' t wait to see him on Saturday. It's my mom's weekend but I'm going to my dad's for my softball team's end of the year party. I also can't wait to see my stepmom. I missed her too.
The trip was great. Except we drove. The trip was 28 hours from my house to Puerto Penasco. OH MY GOD, that is a lot of driving. We drove there in three days, stopping in Phoenix for a day. On the way back, it took us only two days. It was time to come home. We were all homesick.
And I'm happy to say that my stepdad and I only got into it a couple of times. That's good for us. I was seriously worried about that.
The worst part of the trip which had me seriously annoyed with my mom and stepdad was the seemingly incessant smoking. My stepdad brought a big bag of jolly ranchers so that he wouldn't be smoking as much, but that didn't help AT ALL! Between him and my mom, there was always smoke in the car because they took turns smoking. It was ridiculous they way they "fought" over whose turn it was to smoke. It made me disgusted.
My summer's been kinda busy, but I know I will definitely be updating more and a lot more frequently. I can sense that the now calm ocean is about to get very rough soon. I can sense it.
Why is it that your divorced parents can never think anything positive about the other? Hm, I'd like to know the answer to that question as well. It's stupid really. How can two people who had once been married and had two kids together (in my case) think so negatively about the other? Because they feel they have to hate that person? If that's the answer, then I am thoroughly disgusted. Why can't parents realize what their unkind words towards the other parent hurt their kids?
What brought that question up?
Well, on April first, my dad quit smoking. I was so happy that he had finally decided to do it. And he was determined to quit. He made it 12 weeks, 12 WEEKS!!!! I thought he was gonna make it, I really did. Unfortunately, he did not.
He started smoking again and he didn't even try to get help before he started again. He just bummed a few off his co-worker and then bought a pack of his own. Without trying to talk to his quit coach, without talking to my stepmom, without talking to his kids.
What makes it worse? My mom's negative comments. When I told her that my dad quit smoking, was she positive and encouraging? No. She was negative. "Oh really? Good for him, do you really think he can do it?" The words may not sound so negative, but keep in mind how much power your tone of voice has. Yeah it was very negative.
When I told my mom, in tears I might add, that I was upset because my dad started smoking again was her response soothing? No. Why? Because it was negative. "Yeah, I kinda figured that would happen."
Thanks mom, that was very comforting.
I just don't get it. This year has been nothing but terrible. The worst year of my life. And that's saying a lot considering it beat '05, the year I had brain surgery.
Well that's about it for now....
Anxiously waiting for the next big storm,
Jay Jay
OH! And then, on my email I get a notification of a comment and it says "How old are you?" or whatever, and I pretty much ignore it. Well my mom has to have my password to my email for "Internet Safety", or an invasion of privacy really if you ask me. Well I was checking my email and I noticed that that email notification had been forwarded. Not by me, I can tell you that. It was forwarded to my mom! By who? My mom!
So after that I decided, "Hm, maybe I should wait a little bit to post again....because I don't want my mom to delete it or anything...."
So yeah. Parents can be very overbearing sometimes. I know my mom only does this stuff because she loves me and cares about me, but honestly, it would be nice if she put a little bit of trust in me.
I've been in Mexico for the past week and a half. In fact I just got back at about 4 am. It is now 6:13 am, and I'm not tired. So, as far as things with my parents go, there isn't much. I really miss my dad and I can' t wait to see him on Saturday. It's my mom's weekend but I'm going to my dad's for my softball team's end of the year party. I also can't wait to see my stepmom. I missed her too.
The trip was great. Except we drove. The trip was 28 hours from my house to Puerto Penasco. OH MY GOD, that is a lot of driving. We drove there in three days, stopping in Phoenix for a day. On the way back, it took us only two days. It was time to come home. We were all homesick.
And I'm happy to say that my stepdad and I only got into it a couple of times. That's good for us. I was seriously worried about that.
The worst part of the trip which had me seriously annoyed with my mom and stepdad was the seemingly incessant smoking. My stepdad brought a big bag of jolly ranchers so that he wouldn't be smoking as much, but that didn't help AT ALL! Between him and my mom, there was always smoke in the car because they took turns smoking. It was ridiculous they way they "fought" over whose turn it was to smoke. It made me disgusted.
My summer's been kinda busy, but I know I will definitely be updating more and a lot more frequently. I can sense that the now calm ocean is about to get very rough soon. I can sense it.
Why is it that your divorced parents can never think anything positive about the other? Hm, I'd like to know the answer to that question as well. It's stupid really. How can two people who had once been married and had two kids together (in my case) think so negatively about the other? Because they feel they have to hate that person? If that's the answer, then I am thoroughly disgusted. Why can't parents realize what their unkind words towards the other parent hurt their kids?
What brought that question up?
Well, on April first, my dad quit smoking. I was so happy that he had finally decided to do it. And he was determined to quit. He made it 12 weeks, 12 WEEKS!!!! I thought he was gonna make it, I really did. Unfortunately, he did not.
He started smoking again and he didn't even try to get help before he started again. He just bummed a few off his co-worker and then bought a pack of his own. Without trying to talk to his quit coach, without talking to my stepmom, without talking to his kids.
What makes it worse? My mom's negative comments. When I told her that my dad quit smoking, was she positive and encouraging? No. She was negative. "Oh really? Good for him, do you really think he can do it?" The words may not sound so negative, but keep in mind how much power your tone of voice has. Yeah it was very negative.
When I told my mom, in tears I might add, that I was upset because my dad started smoking again was her response soothing? No. Why? Because it was negative. "Yeah, I kinda figured that would happen."
Thanks mom, that was very comforting.
I just don't get it. This year has been nothing but terrible. The worst year of my life. And that's saying a lot considering it beat '05, the year I had brain surgery.
Well that's about it for now....
Anxiously waiting for the next big storm,
Jay Jay
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