So I haven't updated in almost a month and my last several updates have not been about my parents. That's a good thing. It means that everything is going pretty well. My parents aren't fighting and everything is just pretty calm.
If only every other aspect of my life were that way, everything would be great. My work load at school is piled nearly as high as a mountain, my cheeks seem to favor a new chipmunk look lately (I had my wisdom teeth removed about 25 days ago and it took a little over a week for the swelling to go down and then wednesday this past week my left cheek decided to randomly sweel up again), and I have an AP test less than a month away and the material is so ridiculously specific there is no way I'll be able to take the four hour test without exploding.
So my weekends at the moment are filled with a lot of homework. It's not fun.
But on the plus side, my dad has decided to quit smoking again. It's been five days so far and he's doing pretty well. This time I think he might be able to do it, because his work isn't as stressful as it was the last time he tried to quit.
So I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
And that's about all at the moment.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
New songs!
In case you haven't noticed yet, I added a bunch of new songs to my playlist. I couldn't really help myself. These songs aren't songs that you would hear on the radio. All of the new ones I added are from the musicals Rent and Sweeney Todd. I didn't add all of the songs from these musicals but I did add quite a bit. I also added two songs from Wicked.
The songs I most suggest are "La Vie Boheme" because it's hilarious, "Popular" because it's awesome, and either "Johanna" because they are beautifully dark songs. All of them are amazing of course, but those are just a few of my favorites among favorites...if that made sense. :D
Enjoy the new music!
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
The songs I most suggest are "La Vie Boheme" because it's hilarious, "Popular" because it's awesome, and either "Johanna" because they are beautifully dark songs. All of them are amazing of course, but those are just a few of my favorites among favorites...if that made sense. :D
Enjoy the new music!
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Friday, March 13, 2009
Birthday
Tomorrow is PI day!! Get it? 3/14 pi=3.14blahblahblah. Yeah it took me until just a couple of year ago to realize that my birthday was on pi day.
And with that being said, yes tomorrow is my birthday. It doesn't feel like it is though. I have no idea why. Tomorrow I'll be old enough to drive. Tomorrow, I'll be over half way to thirty! Random thought there.
I'm not going to get my license tomorrow though. I don't actually like driving that much. As a matter of fact, I'm in no real hurrty to get it. I have my permit and all and i have driven on the highways some, but not a lot. But I plan to get it before summer. I just can't get used to the thought that I can get my license. And I definitely can't get used to the fact that my classmates are starting to drive.
In Geometry wer also tell stories and some of the stories some of these kids tell about when they're driving really scare me. This girl Annie talks abut how she's run into poles, curbs, lawns, her coworker....yes you read that right. It's scary. Another kid Kyle talked about how he fell alseep while he was driving and ending up backwards across the highway. They really scare me.
While turning another year older is exciting it's also scary. In two years, I'll be old enough to vote and I'll be going off to college. I'm not ready for that. I mean, college will be fun and i know I"ll enjoy it, but I love being a kid so much. I don't really want to grow up. I really wish I could stay a kid forever. That would be amazing.
The future holds so many wonderful and so many scary things. But I like the present. I want to stay a kid. Being a kid is a good deal. I don't understand why some kids want to grow up so fast. I just don't get it.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
And with that being said, yes tomorrow is my birthday. It doesn't feel like it is though. I have no idea why. Tomorrow I'll be old enough to drive. Tomorrow, I'll be over half way to thirty! Random thought there.
I'm not going to get my license tomorrow though. I don't actually like driving that much. As a matter of fact, I'm in no real hurrty to get it. I have my permit and all and i have driven on the highways some, but not a lot. But I plan to get it before summer. I just can't get used to the thought that I can get my license. And I definitely can't get used to the fact that my classmates are starting to drive.
In Geometry wer also tell stories and some of the stories some of these kids tell about when they're driving really scare me. This girl Annie talks abut how she's run into poles, curbs, lawns, her coworker....yes you read that right. It's scary. Another kid Kyle talked about how he fell alseep while he was driving and ending up backwards across the highway. They really scare me.
While turning another year older is exciting it's also scary. In two years, I'll be old enough to vote and I'll be going off to college. I'm not ready for that. I mean, college will be fun and i know I"ll enjoy it, but I love being a kid so much. I don't really want to grow up. I really wish I could stay a kid forever. That would be amazing.
The future holds so many wonderful and so many scary things. But I like the present. I want to stay a kid. Being a kid is a good deal. I don't understand why some kids want to grow up so fast. I just don't get it.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Thursday, March 12, 2009
One Acts
At my school, about two months after the All School Musical, my school does something called "One Acts." One Acts are plays with onl y one act in them. They are usually about 30-40 minutes each. This year my school is doing 3 student directed one acts: "The Velveteen Rabbit", "The Auditioners", and "Man Woman Flower".
For the auditions we had to perform a monolouge. The girls had to learn a monolouge that was a rant about how two minutes was not long enough for an audition. It was great. I memorized the monolouge and I know i rocked auditions on tuesday.
The cast list was posted today and I got the part of the Velveteen Rabbit in "The Velveteen Rabbit." I'm super excited. My friend Luke is playing the kid that owns the Rabbit as well, so that's going to be fun. I can't wait until we start rehearsal two mondays from now (Spring break is next week....). It's gonna rock!
Peace out,
Jay~Jay.
For the auditions we had to perform a monolouge. The girls had to learn a monolouge that was a rant about how two minutes was not long enough for an audition. It was great. I memorized the monolouge and I know i rocked auditions on tuesday.
The cast list was posted today and I got the part of the Velveteen Rabbit in "The Velveteen Rabbit." I'm super excited. My friend Luke is playing the kid that owns the Rabbit as well, so that's going to be fun. I can't wait until we start rehearsal two mondays from now (Spring break is next week....). It's gonna rock!
Peace out,
Jay~Jay.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Shadows
So today is Groundhog's Day. Exciting right? I find the concept of this holiday to be quite interesting. I have always been mystified by the story of the groundhog's ability to predict the arrival of spring.
It never made sense to me. You'd think taht if the groundhog saw his shadow it would mean spring would be early. Because him seeing his shadow means that there is sun. By not seeing his shadow, one would think that would mean more winter.
But as the story goes, when the groundhog comes out of his hole and sees his shadow, he gets scared and runs back into this hole to hide for six weeks. I think it's actually a cute story. I just find it funny how big it's become.
Nearly every state has its own groundhog that is pampered for the day.
I just think it's interesting. I kind of like celebrating the small holidays, like today.
So Happy Groundhog's Day everyone!!!
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
It never made sense to me. You'd think taht if the groundhog saw his shadow it would mean spring would be early. Because him seeing his shadow means that there is sun. By not seeing his shadow, one would think that would mean more winter.
But as the story goes, when the groundhog comes out of his hole and sees his shadow, he gets scared and runs back into this hole to hide for six weeks. I think it's actually a cute story. I just find it funny how big it's become.
Nearly every state has its own groundhog that is pampered for the day.
I just think it's interesting. I kind of like celebrating the small holidays, like today.
So Happy Groundhog's Day everyone!!!
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Are You Ready for Some Football??
Today millions upon millions of Americans will tune in to watch the biggest sporting event of the year. The Superbowl. I forget what number Superbowl this one will be, but I know it's in the forties.
This year's Superbowl comes with a miraculous story because for the first time ever, The Arizona Cardinals have made it there. How? Two words: Kurt Warner. The quaterback who several years ago came out of nowhere, he was a bagger at a grocery store, and led the Rams to a Superbowl victory. And a couple years later led his team to the Superbowl again, was injured and the coaches said he wouldn't be able to play.....but he did.
That's pretty amazing. Especially considering he is pretty old for a football player. He's in his upper thirties. He's not very muscularly built either. He had some trouble a few years ago while he was still playing for the Rams. He was injured, and the Rams let him go. The biggest mistake they've ever made.
This year Warner was signed to the worst team in the league, The Arizona Cardinals. Ironic in a way because this team came from the city he used to play for, his former team, the Rams play there now.
So now Kurt Warner has led this team to victory. All the way up to the Superbowl to face the Pittsburg Steelers.
I don't really know who to cheer for. I want to see Kurt Warner win another Superbowl. He's a great guy and he might not play after this year. It would be great to see him win another one. If he wins this Superbowl, he'll end his career with a phenomenal story.
But I like the Steelers also. They're a good team. After my home team began to suck terribly, I needed a new team to cheer for. The Steelers is the perfect team to cheer for.
So I think this Superbowl will be interesting.
I'm also curious to see what the commercials will be like. Anheuser Busch used to have the best commericals. during the Superbowl, I can't even begin to fathom how much money they put into the Superbowl every year. But now that they have been taken over by Inbev, I don't know if that will necessarily be the case.
That will be interesting to see.
So what team are you rooting for?
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
This year's Superbowl comes with a miraculous story because for the first time ever, The Arizona Cardinals have made it there. How? Two words: Kurt Warner. The quaterback who several years ago came out of nowhere, he was a bagger at a grocery store, and led the Rams to a Superbowl victory. And a couple years later led his team to the Superbowl again, was injured and the coaches said he wouldn't be able to play.....but he did.
That's pretty amazing. Especially considering he is pretty old for a football player. He's in his upper thirties. He's not very muscularly built either. He had some trouble a few years ago while he was still playing for the Rams. He was injured, and the Rams let him go. The biggest mistake they've ever made.
This year Warner was signed to the worst team in the league, The Arizona Cardinals. Ironic in a way because this team came from the city he used to play for, his former team, the Rams play there now.
So now Kurt Warner has led this team to victory. All the way up to the Superbowl to face the Pittsburg Steelers.
I don't really know who to cheer for. I want to see Kurt Warner win another Superbowl. He's a great guy and he might not play after this year. It would be great to see him win another one. If he wins this Superbowl, he'll end his career with a phenomenal story.
But I like the Steelers also. They're a good team. After my home team began to suck terribly, I needed a new team to cheer for. The Steelers is the perfect team to cheer for.
So I think this Superbowl will be interesting.
I'm also curious to see what the commercials will be like. Anheuser Busch used to have the best commericals. during the Superbowl, I can't even begin to fathom how much money they put into the Superbowl every year. But now that they have been taken over by Inbev, I don't know if that will necessarily be the case.
That will be interesting to see.
So what team are you rooting for?
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Something New
So today something happened that I've wanted for a few years now.
I got contacts.
Ever since I first had to get glasses I wanted contacts. I had to get glasses when I was 14 which is a time when appearance matters. I had gone for 14 years without having to wear glasses, the thought of wearing them made me cringe. I had perfect vision for 12 years. Neither of my parents wear glasses.
My eyes were damaged when I was sick. The pressure behind my eyes caused the damage. Even with glasses or contacts I don't have perfect vision, but at least I can read things that are a distance away from me.
Wearing the contacts makes me feel like my old self in a way. Before I was sick and I could see clearly without help. Every time I put on glasses, it reminds me of when I was sick. It's a constant reminder of the permnant effect of that illness.
But now I can see without having something on my face. That makes me happy. When I drive I can actually wear sunglasses. That's good because I hate driving and having the sun in my eyes without something shielding my eyes. (The visor doesn't really work for me because I'm kinda short....).
Yesterday I finished my column. I put my picture on it and everything. It looks great. The issue is supposed to come out Feb. 13, we'll see if that actually happens though. This year's staff is not very good at hitting deadlines and getting the newspaper to the printer on time. So we'll see what happens. I'll let you know when it comes out.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
I got contacts.
Ever since I first had to get glasses I wanted contacts. I had to get glasses when I was 14 which is a time when appearance matters. I had gone for 14 years without having to wear glasses, the thought of wearing them made me cringe. I had perfect vision for 12 years. Neither of my parents wear glasses.
My eyes were damaged when I was sick. The pressure behind my eyes caused the damage. Even with glasses or contacts I don't have perfect vision, but at least I can read things that are a distance away from me.
Wearing the contacts makes me feel like my old self in a way. Before I was sick and I could see clearly without help. Every time I put on glasses, it reminds me of when I was sick. It's a constant reminder of the permnant effect of that illness.
But now I can see without having something on my face. That makes me happy. When I drive I can actually wear sunglasses. That's good because I hate driving and having the sun in my eyes without something shielding my eyes. (The visor doesn't really work for me because I'm kinda short....).
Yesterday I finished my column. I put my picture on it and everything. It looks great. The issue is supposed to come out Feb. 13, we'll see if that actually happens though. This year's staff is not very good at hitting deadlines and getting the newspaper to the printer on time. So we'll see what happens. I'll let you know when it comes out.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
And the Winner is......
So last week I posted the column I wrote for journalism. Yesterday my class found out who's column was chosen to go into this issue of the school paper.
As it turns out, the staff of the newspaper didn't plan very well and they somehow calculated taht they had space for an extra J1 column. Well, they didn't. So only one column out of the seven J1 columns were chosen to go into this issue.
My teacher said that all of the columns were good and that they will all go into the paper sometime this semester. So that's good news for everyone.
But the column that aws chosen to go into Febuary's issue of the paper was.....Mine.
I'm excited. I know that not everyone reads the school newspaper. A lot of people just skim it and skip over a lot of things. But it doesn't matter to me. There will still be some people that read it and that's all that matters to me. l
Well that's all I have for now.
Peace Out,
Jay~Jay
As it turns out, the staff of the newspaper didn't plan very well and they somehow calculated taht they had space for an extra J1 column. Well, they didn't. So only one column out of the seven J1 columns were chosen to go into this issue.
My teacher said that all of the columns were good and that they will all go into the paper sometime this semester. So that's good news for everyone.
But the column that aws chosen to go into Febuary's issue of the paper was.....Mine.
I'm excited. I know that not everyone reads the school newspaper. A lot of people just skim it and skip over a lot of things. But it doesn't matter to me. There will still be some people that read it and that's all that matters to me. l
Well that's all I have for now.
Peace Out,
Jay~Jay
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Stalked
As time has gone on, the world has become even more of a scary place. Watching the news, you see some of the craziest stories of things that happen in your city. Sometimes these things are miles away, sometimes they're right at your backdoor.
Everyday, things happen that rarely happened in the past. Granted, a long time ago, the media wasn't what it used to be, but these events are still happening with more frequency.
Today when I was walking my dog around my small neighborhood, I felt like I was being followed.
Now you have to understand that the city I live in is extremely safe. The police in our city are extremely strict on speed. If you speed through my city, you will get caught. But that's because our police force has nothing better to do than look for cars racing down the roads.
My neighborhood is really small and has only one entrance. I walked my dog around my subdivision twice today. The first time, I was turning right on a street and this white car had its blinker on to turn left onto the street I just turned off of.
Well the car was stopped completely and there were no cars coming, I was well out of its way, but the man didn't go. Not until I passed by his car did he turn.
At first I didn't really think anything of it, I figured he was just making sure my dog didn't dart out into the street and he would hit it.
I continued walking.
I was walking down a completely different street as before, away from the entrance of the subdivision when I hear I car approaching. I turn my head to look at the car as I always do and I notice that it's the same car as before.
I watch as the car starts to slow down. It slows down as it passes me. A part of me is screaming that something isn't right, and the other part of me says that he's just slowing down because we're on a hill and the road curves at the bottom of the hill.
So I just stop. The car rolls pass me and reaches the bottom of the hill.....where it stops.
A van drives by me and I turn around and start walking in the other direction. There was no way I was going to continue in the direction the car went. I kept looking over my shoulder and saw that the car had pulled over to the side of the road to let the van through. That scares the stuff out me.
I cut down a road that will take me to my house quicker. It was the same road that i had turned off of when I first saw the car.
When I reached the end of the road, I contemplated turning left instead of right. If I turned left, I could take a road that would loop around to my street. My friend lives on the road that loops around. So i figured if I saw the car again, I could run to my friend's house.
Well as I reached the end of the road there was a woman and a little girl walking a big white dog. They were going in the direction that was the quickest way to get to my house. So I followed near them.
I kept looking over my shoulder. And I saw the car turn onto the street. When I saw the car coming in our direction I walked on the grass, instead of the road. Well the car pulls up onto the curb, right behind me. The car was only a few feet away from me.
It pulls onto the curb and the lights go out.
Well, at that point I guess the bigger dog noticed my dog and they looked at each other and the woman was telling her dog no and to get back.
So I looked up at her and said "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but this car is really starting to freak me out."
She nodded her head and said "Oh, okay. No problem." I was really close to my house. I started to walk a lot faster, and I was looking over my shoulder. One time when I looked back I saw the car pull up further on the curb and stop.
I turned and walked as fast as I could until i reached my house.
When I was telling my brother what had happened he asks me "Was this car white?" (I hadn't told him the color of the car yet). I told him that it was. He then said "I saw that car drive by here."
It was creepy. I really want to go for a walk again tomorrow. Because I like walking, but I definitely don't want that to happen again.
I might ask my friend if he wants to walk with me. He's really good at keeping stalkers away. He kept the Pringle Guy (this creepy stalker senior guy at my school who looks like the Pringle guy) away from my Megan last semester at lunch. We'll see I guess.
I could have just been paranoid. But a car passing by three times in my subdivion is really unusual. Maybe the person was just trying to scare me because he saw that I was a bit weary of him the first time I passed. Who knows?
All I know is that if something like this ever happens to me again, I'm taking a picture of the license plate and sending it to my mom, going straight home and if I am approached, I'm taking a picture of the person and then running to the nearest house screaming "Fire".
The saying "That will never happen to me" should never be uttered. By anyone. Because anything can happen, at anytime to anyone.
So be prepared for anything.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Everyday, things happen that rarely happened in the past. Granted, a long time ago, the media wasn't what it used to be, but these events are still happening with more frequency.
Today when I was walking my dog around my small neighborhood, I felt like I was being followed.
Now you have to understand that the city I live in is extremely safe. The police in our city are extremely strict on speed. If you speed through my city, you will get caught. But that's because our police force has nothing better to do than look for cars racing down the roads.
My neighborhood is really small and has only one entrance. I walked my dog around my subdivision twice today. The first time, I was turning right on a street and this white car had its blinker on to turn left onto the street I just turned off of.
Well the car was stopped completely and there were no cars coming, I was well out of its way, but the man didn't go. Not until I passed by his car did he turn.
At first I didn't really think anything of it, I figured he was just making sure my dog didn't dart out into the street and he would hit it.
I continued walking.
I was walking down a completely different street as before, away from the entrance of the subdivision when I hear I car approaching. I turn my head to look at the car as I always do and I notice that it's the same car as before.
I watch as the car starts to slow down. It slows down as it passes me. A part of me is screaming that something isn't right, and the other part of me says that he's just slowing down because we're on a hill and the road curves at the bottom of the hill.
So I just stop. The car rolls pass me and reaches the bottom of the hill.....where it stops.
A van drives by me and I turn around and start walking in the other direction. There was no way I was going to continue in the direction the car went. I kept looking over my shoulder and saw that the car had pulled over to the side of the road to let the van through. That scares the stuff out me.
I cut down a road that will take me to my house quicker. It was the same road that i had turned off of when I first saw the car.
When I reached the end of the road, I contemplated turning left instead of right. If I turned left, I could take a road that would loop around to my street. My friend lives on the road that loops around. So i figured if I saw the car again, I could run to my friend's house.
Well as I reached the end of the road there was a woman and a little girl walking a big white dog. They were going in the direction that was the quickest way to get to my house. So I followed near them.
I kept looking over my shoulder. And I saw the car turn onto the street. When I saw the car coming in our direction I walked on the grass, instead of the road. Well the car pulls up onto the curb, right behind me. The car was only a few feet away from me.
It pulls onto the curb and the lights go out.
Well, at that point I guess the bigger dog noticed my dog and they looked at each other and the woman was telling her dog no and to get back.
So I looked up at her and said "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but this car is really starting to freak me out."
She nodded her head and said "Oh, okay. No problem." I was really close to my house. I started to walk a lot faster, and I was looking over my shoulder. One time when I looked back I saw the car pull up further on the curb and stop.
I turned and walked as fast as I could until i reached my house.
When I was telling my brother what had happened he asks me "Was this car white?" (I hadn't told him the color of the car yet). I told him that it was. He then said "I saw that car drive by here."
It was creepy. I really want to go for a walk again tomorrow. Because I like walking, but I definitely don't want that to happen again.
I might ask my friend if he wants to walk with me. He's really good at keeping stalkers away. He kept the Pringle Guy (this creepy stalker senior guy at my school who looks like the Pringle guy) away from my Megan last semester at lunch. We'll see I guess.
I could have just been paranoid. But a car passing by three times in my subdivion is really unusual. Maybe the person was just trying to scare me because he saw that I was a bit weary of him the first time I passed. Who knows?
All I know is that if something like this ever happens to me again, I'm taking a picture of the license plate and sending it to my mom, going straight home and if I am approached, I'm taking a picture of the person and then running to the nearest house screaming "Fire".
The saying "That will never happen to me" should never be uttered. By anyone. Because anything can happen, at anytime to anyone.
So be prepared for anything.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Not So Failed Experience
According to my Journalism teacher, you want your column to make a difference. So for my column I tried to understand how excluded kids nad students feel. My plan failed completely, but I think I ended up with a decent column.
Not So Failed Experience
We’ve all heard the saying “Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes”, but how many of us have actually tried to do it? Well I can say from personal experience, that it’s not as easy as you might think.
Originally, for this column I had planned to spend an entire school day in complete isolation. I wanted to compare my experience and my emotions that day with how kids who are excluded on a daily basis feel.
I talked to all my friends and a few of my teachers and they had agreed to ignore me for that day. It was as simple as that.
When “Ignore Jessica Day” came around, everything went without a hitch. My friends refused to talk to me, my teachers never called on me in class, and a deep loneliness filled me. The experience really allowed me to understand what it felt like to be rejected by my classmates.
Well, that was what I had thought would happen. In reality, my plan had failed almost from the very beginning.
When I arrived at school, I was completely ready to endure my day of isolation,
Okay, I thought to myself, don’t talk to anyone for the entire day….oh, except for the question I need to ask Elise about an assignment. Oh, and I need to get my iPod back from Geri, Megan needs help with the chemistry homework, and maybe I can sneak in a word with Casey about the book I’m reading.
With all these thoughts swirling around in my head, it’s no wonder my “fool-proof” plan was destined to fail. Yet still I tried.
My friends talked among themselves and I pretended like I wasn’t listening. I suppressed my frequent urges to speak and gesture to them. Not being able to talk to my friends was extremely difficult for me.
However, when class started, we had to work in pairs, making “Ignore Jessica Day” that much more challenging.
By the time third hour arrived, my day felt just like any other. “Ignore Jessica Day” had crashed and burned.
In fourth hour, I realized something: you can’t know how someone feels, unless you are in the same situation as they are. My fake simulation of ostracism could never evoke the same emotions as real isolation.
It had been extremely hard for me not to talk to my friends, but that was because they were people I frequently talked to. Kids who are excluded and ignored all the time may not have people they talk to a lot. How do they deal with not having someone to share their thoughts with?
Do they have someone to help them with their homework? To discuss a good book with?
At the end of the 2nd semester, students sign each other’s yearbooks.
“Kim, I can’t imagine not having you as a friend. You’re the best! Love you! Love, Sam.”
Who writes in their yearbooks? And if someone does, how do they sign it? Do they write something special or sincere?
I can only guess at the emotions stirring inside of them. Maybe they don’t mind being left out, maybe they hate it. Maybe they don’t even notice that they’re being excluded.
How do we know?
As I said earlier, it’s extremely difficult to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. We all wear different sizes, the shoes might not fit. But who’s to say we can’t reach out and walk the mile alongside them?
Not So Failed Experience
We’ve all heard the saying “Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes”, but how many of us have actually tried to do it? Well I can say from personal experience, that it’s not as easy as you might think.
Originally, for this column I had planned to spend an entire school day in complete isolation. I wanted to compare my experience and my emotions that day with how kids who are excluded on a daily basis feel.
I talked to all my friends and a few of my teachers and they had agreed to ignore me for that day. It was as simple as that.
When “Ignore Jessica Day” came around, everything went without a hitch. My friends refused to talk to me, my teachers never called on me in class, and a deep loneliness filled me. The experience really allowed me to understand what it felt like to be rejected by my classmates.
Well, that was what I had thought would happen. In reality, my plan had failed almost from the very beginning.
When I arrived at school, I was completely ready to endure my day of isolation,
Okay, I thought to myself, don’t talk to anyone for the entire day….oh, except for the question I need to ask Elise about an assignment. Oh, and I need to get my iPod back from Geri, Megan needs help with the chemistry homework, and maybe I can sneak in a word with Casey about the book I’m reading.
With all these thoughts swirling around in my head, it’s no wonder my “fool-proof” plan was destined to fail. Yet still I tried.
My friends talked among themselves and I pretended like I wasn’t listening. I suppressed my frequent urges to speak and gesture to them. Not being able to talk to my friends was extremely difficult for me.
However, when class started, we had to work in pairs, making “Ignore Jessica Day” that much more challenging.
By the time third hour arrived, my day felt just like any other. “Ignore Jessica Day” had crashed and burned.
In fourth hour, I realized something: you can’t know how someone feels, unless you are in the same situation as they are. My fake simulation of ostracism could never evoke the same emotions as real isolation.
It had been extremely hard for me not to talk to my friends, but that was because they were people I frequently talked to. Kids who are excluded and ignored all the time may not have people they talk to a lot. How do they deal with not having someone to share their thoughts with?
Do they have someone to help them with their homework? To discuss a good book with?
At the end of the 2nd semester, students sign each other’s yearbooks.
“Kim, I can’t imagine not having you as a friend. You’re the best! Love you! Love, Sam.”
Who writes in their yearbooks? And if someone does, how do they sign it? Do they write something special or sincere?
I can only guess at the emotions stirring inside of them. Maybe they don’t mind being left out, maybe they hate it. Maybe they don’t even notice that they’re being excluded.
How do we know?
As I said earlier, it’s extremely difficult to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. We all wear different sizes, the shoes might not fit. But who’s to say we can’t reach out and walk the mile alongside them?
The only bad thing about my column is in order to get the message, you have to read the whole thing though. Not all high schoolers have the attention span to do that. But whatever.
My column might not get picked though. My school's newspaper staff (Journalism II kids) pick the two columns. And my column is a lot different than anything they write. They might not like it. Or maybe they'll like it because it's different. Who knows? I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
I'll let you guys know what happens with it. Let me know what you think.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Welcome...Everything!
It's been a long time since I last updated my blog. Surprisingly, there hasn't been much going on as far as my parents are concerned. There are a few, trivial things that have gone on, but they really aren't worth mentioning. Just the typical bickering.
I find it incredibly ironic how my parents yell at me and my brother because we fight and bicker so much, yet my parents are ten times worse; and they're supposed to be the adults. My parents can't hold a civil conversation with each other. Both of them talk about the other one accusingly. It's all very childish.
I honestly think that parents are the biggest hypocrites around. Take the phrase "Do as I say, not as I do". That phrase is completely hypocritical. You do something, but then tell your kids they can't do it. But most kids look up to their parents, want to be like their parents, and will essentially want to copy everything they do. So the phrase "Do as I say, not as I do" should be erased from every parent's mind, in my opinion.
Yet I know that when I become a parent, I will use that phrase at some time. Do you see what I mean about parents being hypocritical?
Okay enough of that for now. There are a lot of things to talk about. This post is bound to be really long, I might have to break it up.
I hope everyone had an enjoyable holiday season. Mine was great, although it never really did feel like the holidays to me. It came and went so quickly, the warm, joyful atmosphere of the season was absent.
Happy New Year to everyone as well. 2009 snuck up on us, not that I'm complaining. New Year's Eve didn't feel like New Year's Eve to me either. To me it just seemed like "Oh, look it's 2009 now." It was nothing like the loud clatter of celebration that normally occurs. Which is surprising because it seemed like so many people were ready for 2008 to be over.
My winter break was longer than it has been in the past. I think it's the longest break I've had since I started school. We had a total of 17 days scheduled for break. We ended up having 18 days of break. The day we were supposed to go back, school got called off for icy road conditions.
So school started and I already have a lot of homework. As of this week, I have an F in my AP European History class. I had planned to take all of my notes for the unit last Sunday, but I got sick so I slept most of the day instead. That week we had a really big quiz almost no one in my class passed.
The class average was 27% yikes! Haha, I got 10%. I was lucky I scored that high, though. But I'm not worried about it. There are only two grades in the grade book. It will be incredibly easy to bring my grade back up.
I got my report card in the mail this week, and I was not very happy. This was my report card:
Honors Chemistry: A 93%
AP European History: A 90%
Journalism I: A 94%
Honors Geometry: B 89%
Honors English: A 90%
Oral Communications: A 97%
Spanish 3: A 90%
I was 1% away from having straight A's. Being a perfectionist, that kills me. We had to do this stupid project in Geom. where we had to build a bridge out of toothpicks and it had to hold at least 20lbs to receive full credit.
Well, me and the two friends I worked with suck at building anything with our hands. We could have had the perfect design for our bridge and when we went to build it, it would have looked nothing like our design and it still would have failed. So I really don't see the relevancy of that project.
We got a B on the project and it was for a test grade. It caused me and my friend Geri to end up with B's for the semester. It was extremely aggravating.
In journalism, we have 7 students in the class. It is amazing. First semester we had like 20 students, now we have 7. It's wonderful.
Speaking of journalism, there are two column spots on the school newspaper and two columns from my class will be picked to go into the paper. I'm really excited about it.
I'll make another post for my column. This one is getting really long.
There are a lot of things happening right now. I've decided to give up softball. I'm not playing this summer for my rec. team and I'm not playing for school.
Softball just isn't fun for me anymore. I don't feel like I really fit in on either team. My rec. team is extremely cliqueish and it's uncomfortable. The girls on my school team just aren't the girls I hang out with.
Another reason for my decision is a bit more complicated. Every year, I try hard and I practice. But I only seem to digress in my skill. Well, that's not completely true. I've become a little better, but only fractionally.
The first year I played, I'm not going to lie when I say that I was amazing. My first year was in fifth grade and I was my team's star short stop. I turned many double plays and just made a lot of good plays.
The next year, I had to move up to an older team. The team I ended up playing on was a team my old team had played against. The whole team moved up because they were all old enough to move up.
The team mom told my coach "That's the short stop from the Rascals!" and he was really excited about that. He told me that when he found out he was like "Yes!"
Well.....I was sick that year. That was the year when I had Hydrocephalus. I sucked at softball. I remember one day when we were doing drills we had to field the ball and then throw it in.
Well I very clumsily fielded the ball, barely managing to scoop it up, and then I went to throw the ball, but I ended up turning 180 degrees to face the oppostite direction. I was looking for the person I had to throw it to. Yeah, it was really bad.
I haven't been able to work my way back up the ladder. I thought I would be able to, but I couldn't. The next two seasons, I wasn't that good either, because I didn't realize that my illness had damaged my eyes. So it was hard for me to follow the ball.
I've only played a few true seasons of softball, and they just haven't been what I thought they would be. So, I'm putting my bat and glove up.
And next year in the fall, I'm going to try out for the school play. I can't wait. Acting is one of the things I love to do. And I'm good at it. The past two years, I played softball instead of auditioning for the play. I miss acting. So this year, I'm auditioning.
If I don't make it, then I can keep myself busy with the Renaissance Club.
I'm excited about 2009. I can't wait to see what this year will bring.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
I find it incredibly ironic how my parents yell at me and my brother because we fight and bicker so much, yet my parents are ten times worse; and they're supposed to be the adults. My parents can't hold a civil conversation with each other. Both of them talk about the other one accusingly. It's all very childish.
I honestly think that parents are the biggest hypocrites around. Take the phrase "Do as I say, not as I do". That phrase is completely hypocritical. You do something, but then tell your kids they can't do it. But most kids look up to their parents, want to be like their parents, and will essentially want to copy everything they do. So the phrase "Do as I say, not as I do" should be erased from every parent's mind, in my opinion.
Yet I know that when I become a parent, I will use that phrase at some time. Do you see what I mean about parents being hypocritical?
Okay enough of that for now. There are a lot of things to talk about. This post is bound to be really long, I might have to break it up.
I hope everyone had an enjoyable holiday season. Mine was great, although it never really did feel like the holidays to me. It came and went so quickly, the warm, joyful atmosphere of the season was absent.
Happy New Year to everyone as well. 2009 snuck up on us, not that I'm complaining. New Year's Eve didn't feel like New Year's Eve to me either. To me it just seemed like "Oh, look it's 2009 now." It was nothing like the loud clatter of celebration that normally occurs. Which is surprising because it seemed like so many people were ready for 2008 to be over.
My winter break was longer than it has been in the past. I think it's the longest break I've had since I started school. We had a total of 17 days scheduled for break. We ended up having 18 days of break. The day we were supposed to go back, school got called off for icy road conditions.
So school started and I already have a lot of homework. As of this week, I have an F in my AP European History class. I had planned to take all of my notes for the unit last Sunday, but I got sick so I slept most of the day instead. That week we had a really big quiz almost no one in my class passed.
The class average was 27% yikes! Haha, I got 10%. I was lucky I scored that high, though. But I'm not worried about it. There are only two grades in the grade book. It will be incredibly easy to bring my grade back up.
I got my report card in the mail this week, and I was not very happy. This was my report card:
Honors Chemistry: A 93%
AP European History: A 90%
Journalism I: A 94%
Honors Geometry: B 89%
Honors English: A 90%
Oral Communications: A 97%
Spanish 3: A 90%
I was 1% away from having straight A's. Being a perfectionist, that kills me. We had to do this stupid project in Geom. where we had to build a bridge out of toothpicks and it had to hold at least 20lbs to receive full credit.
Well, me and the two friends I worked with suck at building anything with our hands. We could have had the perfect design for our bridge and when we went to build it, it would have looked nothing like our design and it still would have failed. So I really don't see the relevancy of that project.
We got a B on the project and it was for a test grade. It caused me and my friend Geri to end up with B's for the semester. It was extremely aggravating.
In journalism, we have 7 students in the class. It is amazing. First semester we had like 20 students, now we have 7. It's wonderful.
Speaking of journalism, there are two column spots on the school newspaper and two columns from my class will be picked to go into the paper. I'm really excited about it.
I'll make another post for my column. This one is getting really long.
There are a lot of things happening right now. I've decided to give up softball. I'm not playing this summer for my rec. team and I'm not playing for school.
Softball just isn't fun for me anymore. I don't feel like I really fit in on either team. My rec. team is extremely cliqueish and it's uncomfortable. The girls on my school team just aren't the girls I hang out with.
Another reason for my decision is a bit more complicated. Every year, I try hard and I practice. But I only seem to digress in my skill. Well, that's not completely true. I've become a little better, but only fractionally.
The first year I played, I'm not going to lie when I say that I was amazing. My first year was in fifth grade and I was my team's star short stop. I turned many double plays and just made a lot of good plays.
The next year, I had to move up to an older team. The team I ended up playing on was a team my old team had played against. The whole team moved up because they were all old enough to move up.
The team mom told my coach "That's the short stop from the Rascals!" and he was really excited about that. He told me that when he found out he was like "Yes!"
Well.....I was sick that year. That was the year when I had Hydrocephalus. I sucked at softball. I remember one day when we were doing drills we had to field the ball and then throw it in.
Well I very clumsily fielded the ball, barely managing to scoop it up, and then I went to throw the ball, but I ended up turning 180 degrees to face the oppostite direction. I was looking for the person I had to throw it to. Yeah, it was really bad.
I haven't been able to work my way back up the ladder. I thought I would be able to, but I couldn't. The next two seasons, I wasn't that good either, because I didn't realize that my illness had damaged my eyes. So it was hard for me to follow the ball.
I've only played a few true seasons of softball, and they just haven't been what I thought they would be. So, I'm putting my bat and glove up.
And next year in the fall, I'm going to try out for the school play. I can't wait. Acting is one of the things I love to do. And I'm good at it. The past two years, I played softball instead of auditioning for the play. I miss acting. So this year, I'm auditioning.
If I don't make it, then I can keep myself busy with the Renaissance Club.
I'm excited about 2009. I can't wait to see what this year will bring.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Saturday, November 8, 2008
"We Will Never Forget...."
The Holocaust. One of the world's most tragic events. Over 6,000,000 innocent people slaughtered among those 6 million, 1/2 million of them were children. The Holocaust happened all throughout Europe and the rest of the world stood by and let it happen. The Holocaust, although a terrible event, is important for us to learn about. We don't want another Holocaust, ever.
Holocaust means "death by fire". All over the world there are holocausts, but there is only one Holocaust.
Between 1941 and 1945 millions upon millions of Jewish people, African Americans, homosexuals, mentally disabled people, and other "different" people were slaughtered by Nazis.. Although Jewish people were the main victims of the Holocaust, they were not the only ones.
To begin to tell you everything that happened during the Holocaust would be impossible. So much happened in less than a decade and it all started when Adolf Hitler became Chancellor of Germany.
Hitler's main goal was to create a pure society. He wanted a world made up of only Aryan people. Essentially blonde hair, blue eyes. The irony in that is, Hitler had dark hair, dark eyes, and a dark mustache.
Hitler hated all Jewish people and anyone who was different. Another ironic thing is that Hitler was part Jewish. He had Jewish blood.
The Holocaust was Hitler's attempt to wipe out an entire group of people off the planet. To annihilate all Jewish people.
For years the rest of the world stood aside and watched as every day thousands of people were tortured and killed. Worked to death, starved to death, murdered because an SS solider was in a bad mood, and every other horrific thing you can imagine. No one came to their aid.
Finally in 1945, action was taken. Those still living in concentration camps were liberated. The Holocaust was brought to an end all over the world.
I was lucky enough to hear a Holocaust survivor speak. Yesterday I went to a local Holocaust Museum with school. It was a truly unique experience. Everything in the museum was, of course, real. Some of the pictures were very gruesome and just unbelievable. You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
The person I heard speak had a great story. Her name was Maria. She told of how she lost her dad and other members of her family. She told us about how she was transported from camp to camp. How she had practically no food. Being afraid of taking a shower. Because you did not know if water or gas would come out of the shower heads.
To hear a first hand account of what happened was a very special experience. As I was listening to her speak I could picture in my head what was happening, although I know that the picture in my head is nowhere near as bad and horrific as the real thing. And at the same time I was picturing it in my head I thought about how the memories had to be playing in her head at that same moment. How hard it must be for her to talk about what had happened. I had so much respect for her in that moment alone.
Maria was liberated on April 15, 1945. She was 19 and weighed 57 pounds.
After she was finished speaking we were able to ask her questions. I asked her if her experience diminished or changed her faith. She answered me, with her chin held high: "No. Absolutely not. I am proud to be a Jew." That is truly incredible and highly admirable.
Every day Holocaust survivors are dying. One day, there will be none left. If you ever have the opportunity to hear a Holocaust survivor speak, do not pass it up. You won't regret it, I promise.
The greatest thing we can learn from a Holocaust survivor is the importance of acceptance. We have to learn to accept everyone as individuals. We must learn to be tolerant of other ethnicities and cultures. We must never let another Holocaust happen.
Gleichheit für alle
(Equality for all)
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Holocaust means "death by fire". All over the world there are holocausts, but there is only one Holocaust.
Between 1941 and 1945 millions upon millions of Jewish people, African Americans, homosexuals, mentally disabled people, and other "different" people were slaughtered by Nazis.. Although Jewish people were the main victims of the Holocaust, they were not the only ones.
To begin to tell you everything that happened during the Holocaust would be impossible. So much happened in less than a decade and it all started when Adolf Hitler became Chancellor of Germany.
Hitler's main goal was to create a pure society. He wanted a world made up of only Aryan people. Essentially blonde hair, blue eyes. The irony in that is, Hitler had dark hair, dark eyes, and a dark mustache.
Hitler hated all Jewish people and anyone who was different. Another ironic thing is that Hitler was part Jewish. He had Jewish blood.
The Holocaust was Hitler's attempt to wipe out an entire group of people off the planet. To annihilate all Jewish people.
For years the rest of the world stood aside and watched as every day thousands of people were tortured and killed. Worked to death, starved to death, murdered because an SS solider was in a bad mood, and every other horrific thing you can imagine. No one came to their aid.
Finally in 1945, action was taken. Those still living in concentration camps were liberated. The Holocaust was brought to an end all over the world.
I was lucky enough to hear a Holocaust survivor speak. Yesterday I went to a local Holocaust Museum with school. It was a truly unique experience. Everything in the museum was, of course, real. Some of the pictures were very gruesome and just unbelievable. You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
The person I heard speak had a great story. Her name was Maria. She told of how she lost her dad and other members of her family. She told us about how she was transported from camp to camp. How she had practically no food. Being afraid of taking a shower. Because you did not know if water or gas would come out of the shower heads.
To hear a first hand account of what happened was a very special experience. As I was listening to her speak I could picture in my head what was happening, although I know that the picture in my head is nowhere near as bad and horrific as the real thing. And at the same time I was picturing it in my head I thought about how the memories had to be playing in her head at that same moment. How hard it must be for her to talk about what had happened. I had so much respect for her in that moment alone.
Maria was liberated on April 15, 1945. She was 19 and weighed 57 pounds.
After she was finished speaking we were able to ask her questions. I asked her if her experience diminished or changed her faith. She answered me, with her chin held high: "No. Absolutely not. I am proud to be a Jew." That is truly incredible and highly admirable.
Every day Holocaust survivors are dying. One day, there will be none left. If you ever have the opportunity to hear a Holocaust survivor speak, do not pass it up. You won't regret it, I promise.
The greatest thing we can learn from a Holocaust survivor is the importance of acceptance. We have to learn to accept everyone as individuals. We must learn to be tolerant of other ethnicities and cultures. We must never let another Holocaust happen.
Gleichheit für alle
(Equality for all)
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Change
Cheers of success echo throughout the country. Celebration is everywhere. For today, history has been made. Today, America has elected its first African American president, Barrack Obama.
Sometimes it makes my head spin to think about the word change. In the few short years that I have been alive, the world has changed greatly. Technology has progressed rapidly. In my time, from the walkman to the super sleek iPod. From the monsterous desktop computers to a compact slimline. From just a regular cell phone to a mini-computer with phone capabilites. Things have changed.
My homes have changed, my friends have changed. I have changed. Change is a part of life. Change is good.
Hopefully, if you are at least 18, you voted in the election. it is important to exercise the right to vote. It gives you a voice. No vote is insignificant. If you don't vote, then you must be okay with the way things are and you don't want change.
The way the economy is now, change is good. We need change.
Let's hope that the change coming our way is for the better.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Sometimes it makes my head spin to think about the word change. In the few short years that I have been alive, the world has changed greatly. Technology has progressed rapidly. In my time, from the walkman to the super sleek iPod. From the monsterous desktop computers to a compact slimline. From just a regular cell phone to a mini-computer with phone capabilites. Things have changed.
My homes have changed, my friends have changed. I have changed. Change is a part of life. Change is good.
Hopefully, if you are at least 18, you voted in the election. it is important to exercise the right to vote. It gives you a voice. No vote is insignificant. If you don't vote, then you must be okay with the way things are and you don't want change.
The way the economy is now, change is good. We need change.
Let's hope that the change coming our way is for the better.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Friday, October 31, 2008
Halloween Horror
Ah, Halloween. Candy, Costumes, and...Conflict.
My parents are at it again, folks. Putting me in the middle of things and/or controlling my every action because of jealousy and the complicated divorce system.
This Halloween I was originally going to my friend's house to watch scary movies. Those plans fell through however because my friend has a Cross Country meet tomorrow: sectionals. :D GO GER-BEAR! Anyway, not many of my friends can stand to watch scary movies.
So....I had a decision to make. It was my mom's year to have me and my brother for Halloween, but it's my dad's weekend. So my dad asks what my plans were, but he said it in a way to make me feel like I had to choose his house. I ended up saying that i wanted to go to his house, but not because of that.
I wanted to go to my Dad's because they were going to have a bonfire and have friends over and my stepmom was makng potato soup. I love potato soup and have been craving it for the past week or so.
All was fine and dandy, my dad and stepmom didn't have a problem with me coming over. My mom on the other hand was very disagreeable. I called her to tell her that I was going to go to my dad's for Halloween and she told me flat out no. She wouldn't budge. She did compromise and say that she would take me later.....
I was crabby after Spanish today when I had to work with two kids who refused to work. And the Halloween situation made me even crabbier. On top of that my mom and I began to talk about money. She is supposed to pay for all the school stuff including field trips and I am going to be losing about 17 dollars of my own money because my mom will only pay half and my dad refuses to pay the other half.
Anyway, I decked myself out for Halloween. I was a gothic angel. My costume was something I threw together. I didn't have to buy anything and I looked pretty good if I do say so myself. I ended up going over to my next door neighbors house to "scare" him and we walked around for several hours just going up to people and scaring people.
According to him I have an amazing "possessed death glare" :D So we hung out for a long time. After walking around we watched "Amityville Horror" It was a good movie. It had a few freaky parts and the movie was supposed to be extremely freaky but it wasn't too scary. It was very predictable. I totally called it.
Speaking of calling things and predictions, I must tell the highlight of my night. I had just finished telling my friend the story about a couple of occurences that made my best friend believe I had psychic abilities. So as a joke he asked me "What will my next guinea pig's name be?"
I answer, "Shadow. It will be all black."
We walk up to the corner of the street and my friend yells "Oh my God!" (there was obscene language but I have omitted that) "Oh my God! Jessica look at this!" He points to a sign on a post and keeps repeating "Oh my God."
I look at the sign and it says: "Lost dog. Black Lab. Shadow."
It was kind of freaky. It gave us both chills. It was awesome :D
So in the end everything worked out :D
I hope your Halloween was as kick butt as mine was :D
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
My parents are at it again, folks. Putting me in the middle of things and/or controlling my every action because of jealousy and the complicated divorce system.
This Halloween I was originally going to my friend's house to watch scary movies. Those plans fell through however because my friend has a Cross Country meet tomorrow: sectionals. :D GO GER-BEAR! Anyway, not many of my friends can stand to watch scary movies.
So....I had a decision to make. It was my mom's year to have me and my brother for Halloween, but it's my dad's weekend. So my dad asks what my plans were, but he said it in a way to make me feel like I had to choose his house. I ended up saying that i wanted to go to his house, but not because of that.
I wanted to go to my Dad's because they were going to have a bonfire and have friends over and my stepmom was makng potato soup. I love potato soup and have been craving it for the past week or so.
All was fine and dandy, my dad and stepmom didn't have a problem with me coming over. My mom on the other hand was very disagreeable. I called her to tell her that I was going to go to my dad's for Halloween and she told me flat out no. She wouldn't budge. She did compromise and say that she would take me later.....
I was crabby after Spanish today when I had to work with two kids who refused to work. And the Halloween situation made me even crabbier. On top of that my mom and I began to talk about money. She is supposed to pay for all the school stuff including field trips and I am going to be losing about 17 dollars of my own money because my mom will only pay half and my dad refuses to pay the other half.
Anyway, I decked myself out for Halloween. I was a gothic angel. My costume was something I threw together. I didn't have to buy anything and I looked pretty good if I do say so myself. I ended up going over to my next door neighbors house to "scare" him and we walked around for several hours just going up to people and scaring people.
According to him I have an amazing "possessed death glare" :D So we hung out for a long time. After walking around we watched "Amityville Horror" It was a good movie. It had a few freaky parts and the movie was supposed to be extremely freaky but it wasn't too scary. It was very predictable. I totally called it.
Speaking of calling things and predictions, I must tell the highlight of my night. I had just finished telling my friend the story about a couple of occurences that made my best friend believe I had psychic abilities. So as a joke he asked me "What will my next guinea pig's name be?"
I answer, "Shadow. It will be all black."
We walk up to the corner of the street and my friend yells "Oh my God!" (there was obscene language but I have omitted that) "Oh my God! Jessica look at this!" He points to a sign on a post and keeps repeating "Oh my God."
I look at the sign and it says: "Lost dog. Black Lab. Shadow."
It was kind of freaky. It gave us both chills. It was awesome :D
So in the end everything worked out :D
I hope your Halloween was as kick butt as mine was :D
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Experimenting....Beware
Lately I've had the urge to experiment with different things. I'm not a very technological person so I thought that toying with the gadgets on my blog might be a good way for me to learn something. So if you see new things on my blog don't freak out. The world is not going to end.
That will happen in 2012 whn my newly lisenced brother drives off the road and into a nuclear power plant :D
So you might have noticed that I added a playlist to my blog. I had seen playlists from playlist.com in several places before so I wanted to see if I could do it. Surprisingly, I was able to. Now I hae a new toy to play with.
I have a somewhat diverse playlist. I have many songs that are not suitable for young children's ears. For example Down with the Sickness by Disturbed. I have the long version with the long rant near the end that is nothing by foul words. It's awesome. I love it.
I have silly songs that make me smile. For example Bad Horse from Dr. Horrible's sing along blog and the Numa Numa song.
I have classical songs. Pure instrumentation. I have Claire De Lune on there because it's a nice song. I also have two songs from the Transiberian Orchestra. I'm actually going to see them in concert. It's going to be pretty cool. I'm excited.
I even have foreign songs on there! I have three songs in German. Rette Mich by Tokio Hotel and Reden by Tokio Hotel. And Du Hast by Rammstein. The song Rette Mich has an english translation "Rescue Me" you can look it up on youtube. Personally I like the German version better. I think it's prettier. I know Reden doesn't have an english translation, but it means "Talk". And "Du Hast" I don't think has an english translation but it means "You Hate." I don't suggest you look that video up. It's creepy.
I hope you enjoy the music!
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
That will happen in 2012 whn my newly lisenced brother drives off the road and into a nuclear power plant :D
So you might have noticed that I added a playlist to my blog. I had seen playlists from playlist.com in several places before so I wanted to see if I could do it. Surprisingly, I was able to. Now I hae a new toy to play with.
I have a somewhat diverse playlist. I have many songs that are not suitable for young children's ears. For example Down with the Sickness by Disturbed. I have the long version with the long rant near the end that is nothing by foul words. It's awesome. I love it.
I have silly songs that make me smile. For example Bad Horse from Dr. Horrible's sing along blog and the Numa Numa song.
I have classical songs. Pure instrumentation. I have Claire De Lune on there because it's a nice song. I also have two songs from the Transiberian Orchestra. I'm actually going to see them in concert. It's going to be pretty cool. I'm excited.
I even have foreign songs on there! I have three songs in German. Rette Mich by Tokio Hotel and Reden by Tokio Hotel. And Du Hast by Rammstein. The song Rette Mich has an english translation "Rescue Me" you can look it up on youtube. Personally I like the German version better. I think it's prettier. I know Reden doesn't have an english translation, but it means "Talk". And "Du Hast" I don't think has an english translation but it means "You Hate." I don't suggest you look that video up. It's creepy.
I hope you enjoy the music!
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Forgiveness
Life is so short in comparison to the expansion of time that is the world. The Earth has been around for about four and a half billion years. A human life, at most, is a little over a hundred years. A human life is like a second compared to a millennium. It's short.
To me, it is a waste to spend any of that time being angry or mad. You never know how much time you will have, so to be mad at someone is just a waste of time. Every second of everyday is precious. Every second that passes is one less you have to live.
As humans, we have emotions and anger is just a part of life. There will be a time when we will get angry at someone we care about and love, whether that person would be a friend or family member. Such is life. It happens.
However, when you're mad at someone don't wait to talk to them about it. Never leave the house angry; because what if something happens? What if you never see that person again? The last conversation you had with that person was one of anger. So when you are mad, talk it out. Find it in your heart to be forgiving.
Forgiveness is important. People make mistakes. No one is perfect. Our mistakes shape us, if we learn from them. Forgiveness allows you to move on with your relationship. If you stay mad, your relationship with a person freezes or takes a negative turn. And that's not what you want.
I will admit that I have been mad at a friend for a while now. I'm working on forgiving that person. It's a little difficult, not because I don't want to forgive this person, it's just I can't actually sit down and talk with this person. But I am working on it. In fact, I've pretty much completely forgiven this person. I realize now that I let myself stay mad too long. This experience made me realize how big a waste of time being angry is.
So don't stay mad at the people you love. Be forgiving. Because you never know how much time you really have with them, why waste it arguing?
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
To me, it is a waste to spend any of that time being angry or mad. You never know how much time you will have, so to be mad at someone is just a waste of time. Every second of everyday is precious. Every second that passes is one less you have to live.
As humans, we have emotions and anger is just a part of life. There will be a time when we will get angry at someone we care about and love, whether that person would be a friend or family member. Such is life. It happens.
However, when you're mad at someone don't wait to talk to them about it. Never leave the house angry; because what if something happens? What if you never see that person again? The last conversation you had with that person was one of anger. So when you are mad, talk it out. Find it in your heart to be forgiving.
Forgiveness is important. People make mistakes. No one is perfect. Our mistakes shape us, if we learn from them. Forgiveness allows you to move on with your relationship. If you stay mad, your relationship with a person freezes or takes a negative turn. And that's not what you want.
I will admit that I have been mad at a friend for a while now. I'm working on forgiving that person. It's a little difficult, not because I don't want to forgive this person, it's just I can't actually sit down and talk with this person. But I am working on it. In fact, I've pretty much completely forgiven this person. I realize now that I let myself stay mad too long. This experience made me realize how big a waste of time being angry is.
So don't stay mad at the people you love. Be forgiving. Because you never know how much time you really have with them, why waste it arguing?
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The Yin and the Yang
The Yin-Yang is a Chinese symbol that represents the balance of good and bad. It represents that there cannot be good without evil and there cannot be evil without good. It's kind of like when someone comes up to you and asks "Do you want the good news first or the bad news?" It seems that there is hardly ever good news without bad news.
So what relevancy does all of this have? Well this past weekend demonstrated this balance in my life.
The Good: When I was in fourth grade, I moved and changed schools. For several years I had kept in contact with my best friend from elementary school, but a couple of years ago we lost contact because she was supposed to move. She was going to give me her information so we could keep talking but I never received anything. So just when I thought I was never going to hear from her again, Thursday I received a letter from her.
I was ecstatic. Not only had she written me, but as it turned out, she hadn't moved. I had immediately decided that I was going to walk to her house over the weekend so we could hang out and catch up.
I was so excited about getting that letter that I wrote her back write away, including in it a story that I had written for my English class last year about her and a necklace she had given me.
Now why didn't I just call her? Because I had a ton f homework and I knew that if I started a phone conversation with her it would last for hours. Which wouldn't be good for a school night when I had mounds and mounds of homework.
So I wrote the letter and decided that I would call her later and them walk to her house that weekend. I was felt extremely happy. I had planned to go to school the next day and tell everyone, including my English teacher (who I had both this year and last year).
The Bad: Friday I woke up and I went to take a breath, but I felt like something was pushing down on my chest and it hurt. I started coughing a deep cough and my dad decided that I should see the doctor. As the morning progressed, I got the chills and spiked a fever. I felt horrible.
I ended up being sick all weekend. This stomped my plans for walking to my friend's house, I didn't get to tell my friends about what had happened while the excitement was still brand new, and Friday was my brother's birthday. It seems I always get sick on my brother's birthday because Friday was definitely not the first time.
I also ended up missing the last softball game of the season because I was sick. That bummed me out a lot.
So I guess the message of that story, depending on whether you are a pessimist of an optimist, is if something bad happens don't get too down about it or let it affect you too much, because something good is going to happen as well. It's natures balance.
In other news, my mom and step dad are back together. They're trying to work things out which is good. I hope it all works out. Although yesterday my step dad got into a big tizzy about not being able to find the stapler (which by the way was originally mine that he dubbed the family stapler) and he and my mom got into a small argument about that. I think the stapler is somewhere in my room, but I can't find it at the moment. If it turns up, it turns up, if not, well....oops.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
So what relevancy does all of this have? Well this past weekend demonstrated this balance in my life.
The Good: When I was in fourth grade, I moved and changed schools. For several years I had kept in contact with my best friend from elementary school, but a couple of years ago we lost contact because she was supposed to move. She was going to give me her information so we could keep talking but I never received anything. So just when I thought I was never going to hear from her again, Thursday I received a letter from her.
I was ecstatic. Not only had she written me, but as it turned out, she hadn't moved. I had immediately decided that I was going to walk to her house over the weekend so we could hang out and catch up.
I was so excited about getting that letter that I wrote her back write away, including in it a story that I had written for my English class last year about her and a necklace she had given me.
Now why didn't I just call her? Because I had a ton f homework and I knew that if I started a phone conversation with her it would last for hours. Which wouldn't be good for a school night when I had mounds and mounds of homework.
So I wrote the letter and decided that I would call her later and them walk to her house that weekend. I was felt extremely happy. I had planned to go to school the next day and tell everyone, including my English teacher (who I had both this year and last year).
The Bad: Friday I woke up and I went to take a breath, but I felt like something was pushing down on my chest and it hurt. I started coughing a deep cough and my dad decided that I should see the doctor. As the morning progressed, I got the chills and spiked a fever. I felt horrible.
I ended up being sick all weekend. This stomped my plans for walking to my friend's house, I didn't get to tell my friends about what had happened while the excitement was still brand new, and Friday was my brother's birthday. It seems I always get sick on my brother's birthday because Friday was definitely not the first time.
I also ended up missing the last softball game of the season because I was sick. That bummed me out a lot.
So I guess the message of that story, depending on whether you are a pessimist of an optimist, is if something bad happens don't get too down about it or let it affect you too much, because something good is going to happen as well. It's natures balance.
In other news, my mom and step dad are back together. They're trying to work things out which is good. I hope it all works out. Although yesterday my step dad got into a big tizzy about not being able to find the stapler (which by the way was originally mine that he dubbed the family stapler) and he and my mom got into a small argument about that. I think the stapler is somewhere in my room, but I can't find it at the moment. If it turns up, it turns up, if not, well....oops.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Monday, September 15, 2008
A Turn for the Worst
Imagine looking around at your room -your habitat, the place where you feel safe and comfortable- and not knowing how much longer you have in that place. Not knowing if you'll be staying in that place for much longer. Tonight, that is exactly what I've been doing.
Today, I fell off of the tip of the knife that I have been balancing precariously on for the past seven years. Today, I found out that my stepdad was staying somewhere else because he and my mom got into a fight...again. This time it was the straw that broke the camel's back. And it was over something so stupid too. My brother was asked to walk the dog and he didn't do it because he claimed it was raining. My stepdad was scolding my brother for it, kind of laughing at him about it and my mom told him, nicely, that what he was doing wasn't helping her do her job. And my stepdad blew up.
My mom told me today that she didn't know if they were gonig to try to work things out. Apparently they had attended marriaging counseling previously. I was not aware of this. Also, my mom told me that she knew my stepdad had somewhat of an anger issue. She had hoped that they could work on it. Yeah right. Now looks where it's gotten us! She told me that she was trying to hold out until me and my brother each graduated high school.
My mom assures me that whatever happens, she will keep me and my brother in the same school district. I don't want to go to the school at my dad's because it is not that great of a school. the school I attend now is so much better with greater opportunities. I don't want to change schools....for the fourth time (Not including transitions to middle school and high school).
So right now as I'm sitting in my room, my sanctuary, I don't know if I'll be able to stay here. I don't know if I'll be leaving soon, leaving my familar room behind for a smaller, more cramped room. I don't know if somehow something will happen where I end up being able to stay. I just don't know. Everything is uncertain right now. It's all up in the air.
When my Dad finds out about what happens, things will only get worse for me. He will be pushign for me to go to school over there, and I don't want that. That is the last thing I want. He'll be pestering me and my mom about the school situation, about our home situation, and he might even go out on a limb and try to gain full custody of me and my brother.
I really hope that doesn't happen. I wish I could just be a kid again. A kid with no such worries as I have at this point in my life. With so much approaching in the near future with college and my career and stuff, I don't need all of this family issues either. I really don't.
Of course, no matter what happens though, i will be strong for my family. For my mom, for my brother, I will be strong. I have to be. If not me, then who? Only the weakest rocks crack under pressure. I 'm no piece of shale. So whatever happens, happens. I just have to focus on my school work and not let this affect my grades in any way. It might be hard, but i can do it. I know I can.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Today, I fell off of the tip of the knife that I have been balancing precariously on for the past seven years. Today, I found out that my stepdad was staying somewhere else because he and my mom got into a fight...again. This time it was the straw that broke the camel's back. And it was over something so stupid too. My brother was asked to walk the dog and he didn't do it because he claimed it was raining. My stepdad was scolding my brother for it, kind of laughing at him about it and my mom told him, nicely, that what he was doing wasn't helping her do her job. And my stepdad blew up.
My mom told me today that she didn't know if they were gonig to try to work things out. Apparently they had attended marriaging counseling previously. I was not aware of this. Also, my mom told me that she knew my stepdad had somewhat of an anger issue. She had hoped that they could work on it. Yeah right. Now looks where it's gotten us! She told me that she was trying to hold out until me and my brother each graduated high school.
My mom assures me that whatever happens, she will keep me and my brother in the same school district. I don't want to go to the school at my dad's because it is not that great of a school. the school I attend now is so much better with greater opportunities. I don't want to change schools....for the fourth time (Not including transitions to middle school and high school).
So right now as I'm sitting in my room, my sanctuary, I don't know if I'll be able to stay here. I don't know if I'll be leaving soon, leaving my familar room behind for a smaller, more cramped room. I don't know if somehow something will happen where I end up being able to stay. I just don't know. Everything is uncertain right now. It's all up in the air.
When my Dad finds out about what happens, things will only get worse for me. He will be pushign for me to go to school over there, and I don't want that. That is the last thing I want. He'll be pestering me and my mom about the school situation, about our home situation, and he might even go out on a limb and try to gain full custody of me and my brother.
I really hope that doesn't happen. I wish I could just be a kid again. A kid with no such worries as I have at this point in my life. With so much approaching in the near future with college and my career and stuff, I don't need all of this family issues either. I really don't.
Of course, no matter what happens though, i will be strong for my family. For my mom, for my brother, I will be strong. I have to be. If not me, then who? Only the weakest rocks crack under pressure. I 'm no piece of shale. So whatever happens, happens. I just have to focus on my school work and not let this affect my grades in any way. It might be hard, but i can do it. I know I can.
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Saturday, September 13, 2008
September Sorrow
This past week has been...interesting to say the least. Many great things have happened and on the flip side, many not-so-great things have happened. Since I'm a positive person, I always start with the good things first.
This week has been good because my softball team played our first three regular season games, and won each one. Tuesday we beat our rival school 11-1 in four innings. Wednesday we won our game 10-0 in four innings. Thursday (also our third baseman's birthday) we won 16-1 in three innings. So all of that is very exciting.
I took an English test on Tuesday (English is my favorite subject) and we got them back on Wednesday. Most of the scores were B's. I got a 97% A, so that's good. For my AP European History class we received the essay portion from our test last week back. The average score was 60%. I received a 90%. My Dad and Stepmom's anniversary was this week. We went out to dinner that night to celebrate, it was fun. Overall, you could say I had a pretty good week. But that's only if you look at the good stuff.
Now, for the negative side to my week. I was swamped with chemistry homework all week because my chemistry teacher gives us busy work, which I hate. There wasn't a single night this week that I didn't go to bed past midnight, so I was exhausted.
My friend is upset with someone she really cares about but won't tell that person that she's upset and talk to that person.
Yesterday was my grandpa's birthday. He would have been seventy one. I miss him terribly and even though it's been seven months since his passing, I still haven't totally accepted the fact that he's gone. I still expect to see him everytime my Grandma and uncle come to visit or we go to visit them. Yesterday reminded me that he was gone, really gone, and it hurt.
Thursday, as we all know, was the seventh anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, it was also my Dad and Stepmom's 7th anniversary.
We have a new principal at my school and she's come in and ruined everything. She has gone completely overboard with enforcing the rules and it's bad. Many of the teachers don't even like her. Thursday when my friends and I went to the library after school we had to deal with one of the many changes at our school. When we walked into the library we had to sign a sheet saying what homework we were going to be doing. We signed the Science sheet. Then we had to go to the science section, as if we were little kids. We were yelled at if we talked. If we finished with our Science homework we were supposed to go up to the front desk, sign out of the science section and sign up for a new section and then go to that section. Yeah right, that wasn't going to happen. This year is going to be great! Ugh.
I think I failed my journalism test yesterday because I had absolutley no time to study after I finished my Chemistry homework. So that's just splendid. I don't even want to see my grade on that test, because I know it's bad. But thankfully, I'm not the only one who believes they did poorly.
I only have one thing left to say: Thank goodness it's the weekEND!
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
This week has been good because my softball team played our first three regular season games, and won each one. Tuesday we beat our rival school 11-1 in four innings. Wednesday we won our game 10-0 in four innings. Thursday (also our third baseman's birthday) we won 16-1 in three innings. So all of that is very exciting.
I took an English test on Tuesday (English is my favorite subject) and we got them back on Wednesday. Most of the scores were B's. I got a 97% A, so that's good. For my AP European History class we received the essay portion from our test last week back. The average score was 60%. I received a 90%. My Dad and Stepmom's anniversary was this week. We went out to dinner that night to celebrate, it was fun. Overall, you could say I had a pretty good week. But that's only if you look at the good stuff.
Now, for the negative side to my week. I was swamped with chemistry homework all week because my chemistry teacher gives us busy work, which I hate. There wasn't a single night this week that I didn't go to bed past midnight, so I was exhausted.
My friend is upset with someone she really cares about but won't tell that person that she's upset and talk to that person.
Yesterday was my grandpa's birthday. He would have been seventy one. I miss him terribly and even though it's been seven months since his passing, I still haven't totally accepted the fact that he's gone. I still expect to see him everytime my Grandma and uncle come to visit or we go to visit them. Yesterday reminded me that he was gone, really gone, and it hurt.
Thursday, as we all know, was the seventh anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, it was also my Dad and Stepmom's 7th anniversary.
We have a new principal at my school and she's come in and ruined everything. She has gone completely overboard with enforcing the rules and it's bad. Many of the teachers don't even like her. Thursday when my friends and I went to the library after school we had to deal with one of the many changes at our school. When we walked into the library we had to sign a sheet saying what homework we were going to be doing. We signed the Science sheet. Then we had to go to the science section, as if we were little kids. We were yelled at if we talked. If we finished with our Science homework we were supposed to go up to the front desk, sign out of the science section and sign up for a new section and then go to that section. Yeah right, that wasn't going to happen. This year is going to be great! Ugh.
I think I failed my journalism test yesterday because I had absolutley no time to study after I finished my Chemistry homework. So that's just splendid. I don't even want to see my grade on that test, because I know it's bad. But thankfully, I'm not the only one who believes they did poorly.
I only have one thing left to say: Thank goodness it's the weekEND!
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
Sunday, September 7, 2008
The Verdict
So last night I told my mother that I was going to Homecoming this year and I also told her that I had already bought a dress. Of course, she did get a little bent out of shape about not being the one to take me shopping. I had expected that. In fact, I had already accepted it as inevitable, but I had planned out what I was going to say to her before hand to get her to understand.
It hadn't been nearly as painful as I had anticipated. The conversation really had only lasted a few minutes. I explained to her that I had not intentionally gone shopping for a dress without her, but that I had just happened across the dress and I couldn't pass it up. The dress was perfect for me, and it was cheap. I would have been stupid not to get it.
Thankfully, my mother understood, to an extent. I showed her the dress and she thinks it's cute. She likes it. She's already planned to bombard me with pictures. So, the worst is definitely over. And to appease her, I promised to let her take me shoe shopping, seeing as I still need to buy shoes that will go with my dress.
I'm just glad that I was able to get my mom to understand. I would have been really upset if I had to return the dress; and I probably wouldn't have gone to Homecoming this year. But thankfully, things worked out!
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
It hadn't been nearly as painful as I had anticipated. The conversation really had only lasted a few minutes. I explained to her that I had not intentionally gone shopping for a dress without her, but that I had just happened across the dress and I couldn't pass it up. The dress was perfect for me, and it was cheap. I would have been stupid not to get it.
Thankfully, my mother understood, to an extent. I showed her the dress and she thinks it's cute. She likes it. She's already planned to bombard me with pictures. So, the worst is definitely over. And to appease her, I promised to let her take me shoe shopping, seeing as I still need to buy shoes that will go with my dress.
I'm just glad that I was able to get my mom to understand. I would have been really upset if I had to return the dress; and I probably wouldn't have gone to Homecoming this year. But thankfully, things worked out!
Peace out,
Jay~Jay
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